being in korea, things are a little backwards. i'm not gonna be doing livejournal for quite a while. i am letting people know how i'm getting on in life, via e-mail. if you want in, reply to this to let me know. i can also e-mail the backlog.

i'd also like to hear from everyone. again, via e-mail.

end transmission

i just ran downstairs to pour a whole glass of water on my mom's sleeping head. the results were indescribably better than i'd hoped for.

the reason i did that was because she was outside with me waiting for my dad to pick me up to go to costco and she got the bright idea to point a hose at me. i told her that she wouldn't dare squirt me, and she replied by saying something to the effect of, "obviously you don't know your mother if you don't think i'd dare." i replied by saying, and i'm paraphrasing here, "OBVIOUSLY you don't know your son, if you'd dare to squirt me. i know you're capable of it, but i don't think you wanna mess with the retribution from your actions. so let me restate what i said, YOU WOULDN'T DARE." she puts down the hose. my dad comes. as i'm walking toward the car, she decides that my ass needs a shower.

and that's why i just dumped a glass of water on her head and watched her flail about like it was MLK Day 94.

why did i remember just as i was beginning my last post? because, my friends out there reading this up in here, because i was about to relay to you the sadly most notable thing of this summer...

the addiction. for those of you in the know i won't be offended if you skip ahead.

the family computer situation works thusly: next to my room at the end of the hallway is the computer nook, and in optimal conditions, the computer inside the nook is for the family while the wireless router enables me to use my laptop in my room. this is no longer the configuration that we have going.

my mother has developed an addiction to online instant messengers. practically the whole day, minus what few chores she does to keep this house in order, she is on this fucking thing. her prime time begins at 10 at night (when she absolutely refuses to let anybody so much as check things up on the computer) and ends at about 4:30 or 5:00 in the morning. what's she doing up so late? chatting. to whom you might ask? sleazeballs and little boys learning english smattered across the globe. it's a decent hour for them, indecent for her. her addiction is so bad that she dismantled the wireless configuration because she was under the impression that when i was online, it made it tougher for her to be online. it's so bad that two days ago, i was on the computer from 9:30 to 9:45 at night and i have to hear her yelling at me, "it's not fair! it's MY computer! this is the only time i can talk to my friends" which, of course, was a downright lie. the next morning, before she ever gets up (she wakes up at 2 since she doesn't sleep until 5), i'm on the computer. i go to the bathroom and when i get back, she's on. why so early? she had to wake up early to meet my cousin for lunch. but instead of getting ready for the lunch, she's talking to some shirtless wonder using a webcam. the only way i get back on the computer is waiting ten minutes and then threatening to pull the plug from the wall.

so this problem is what's set up almost every other event or at least provided a backdrop for this summer. i have insomnia pretty badly and i'll bet it's 70% the addiction (mind you, i can hear the keyboard through my door even when there's music on) and 30% jitters about leaving. why i go to friend's houses but am reluctant to have them visit here? the addiction. suffice it to say that this is bad mojo in the brand household.


oh yeah, so i'm leaving soon. i'm leaving all this drama behind for a whole new bag of drama. eastern drama. i'm going to korea in twelve days, after meeting up with brianna the day before. crazy business. i still need to get some clothes and plug adapters and the like. and i most certainly have to clean my room.

but, the stress of the last final days is sweetened by getting to see my girl, by leaving the country for the first time, for getting paid handsomely for the first time, and for leaving my shitty ass job working at sam goody.

i'm only working another week there, but it'll be painful nonetheless.

and so my summer's a mixed bag. i just hope that i can get in contact with a few last friends i've yet to see before i make a beeline for asan.

and hopefully, maybe, possibly...i'll be keeping the world informed via this livejournal thang while i'm gone.


word to YOUR mothers...

Well, this is probably the first and last post of this summer. Man, I don't even know when the last time I wrote in livejournal was. but i was feeling spry this morning, and i've run out of things to do on the computer.

I almost feel obligated to milk this computer when i have a chance...which reminds me...

Date:	2004-02-11 17:07
Subject:	ballad of a sinking ship....
Security:	Public
Mood:	accomplished
Music:	the disturbing hush of the porter computer lab

okay... so my wireless router isn't working at all. which means no internet on my laptop. which means that certain (internet) sacrifices must be made in the meantime while i figure out what's going on.

the biggest sacrifice is that i can't or rather, i won't be going on livejournal until it's fixed. it's just kinda awkward doing all this on dylan's computer while he's napping a scant two feet away from me. so, unfortunately i have no idea what's new with most of you. i will however be responding to e-mails, because i don't feel too scuzzy about that. so if you'd like me to know something that's going on in your life, you can always e-mail me. i will post as soon as my router problem is solved.

in the meantime, i would like all 2 people who read my journal to know that i'm pulling a grand exodus in the beginning of may to indio, california, with travis and brianna for Coachella 2004. it is very expensive, but will be very much worth the time and effort and capital needed to finance an expenditure and expedition of such magnitude. all i can say about that is...be there or be forever somewhat square in my book.

lastly, i just enrolled in my classes for my last undergraduate quarter. thanks to a non-response from my potential course sponsor, i will regrettably not be teaching the philosophy in horror. that blows. but i am taking some interesting (and hopefully easy classes) come spring. i'm enrolled in:
American Philosophy (emerson, dewey, mill, etc)
Japanese Pop Culture (which should be incredibly entertaining and anonymous, seeing as it's a class of 200)
and
Religion & Magic (another large class, focusing on the religious and the occult practices of latin america)

end transmission

Date:	2004-01-26 03:16
Subject:	"there's a part of me that works just like a charm..."
Security:	Public
Mood:	cold
Music:	sleater-kinney/minor threat/avail/funeral oration

my weekend actually ended on a decent note, somewhat.

i woke up this morning after a fitful sleep and a horrific nightmare whose details are still haunting my mind's eye.

work was at 9. but i got treated to breakfast by my manager, and it was a relatively chill shift with no outrageous assholes.

home afterwards was non-descript.

and here i am...i spent 20 minutes falling asleep but pushing myself to finish something on the computer. now i'm paying the price. i'm not tired anymore... and i have to wake up and read for class, hardcore.


i'll try to go to sleep, try to, go to, try to, sleep, go to sleep, try, to go to, go to sleep, i'll try, try, try, to go to sleep.....

Date:	2004-01-24 10:03
Subject:	Raw Fish, Big Fish, Dead Fish, Blue Fish
Security:	Public
Mood:	sick
Music:	Amalgamation of Soundz, Mr. Bungle, Misfits, The Meteors...

last night i went to dinner with brianna for sushi. it was really good.

i didn't eat anything weird.
i didn't drink too much sake.

but i did wake up feeling absolutely sick and awful this morning and called in. i felt bad, because it left the m.o.d. alone until she could call someone in. but if i'm running to the bathroom dry heaving every few minutes, and i'm too dizzy to stand up for any period of time, i might as well be at home.

i'm sick and it sucks. fittingly i think i'll copy down a poem/rap/thing that i wrote when i was going to get a flu shot. i perform this live at 5 bucks a pop, if interested...it's called Dirty Air.

Captivating my lungs like the residue
On a lost jar in the refridgeratior
Scheduling a healthy jab so I wouldn’t spew: puke, retch
It doesn’t really make sense
To get sick making the time to get a flu stick
With coughing, sneezing coming from all the people
Lesser of two evils
Fear of the needle
Or the bed-ridden, not quite livin’, disease stricken
Always givin’
Alms to the Porcelain God…
Oh my God!
I feel it coming on
Apprehensions gone
Make no mistake, mom,
This bathroom slob
Is making a go
Ain’t no show, no joke,
Of living for the better
Bundled up in sweaters
Dialing in favors
For two liters
Of 7-Up,
7-Up,
God Damn it! Now get me a cup.
I can’t go getting up, setting up
Without letting up…
Back to square one
Chicken noodle soup heaving fun
Fuck it. In a day or two I’ll feel alright.

4 days is what it takes for pellets to suffocate a rat.
3 days is what my weekend has left
2 days before sean leaves for home again
1 god-damned minute before i stop fighting my obstinacy and go to sleep...

Date:	2004-01-14 12:09
Subject:	i just lovecraft my pants!
Security:	Public
Mood:	chipper
Music:	Jesus Lizard-- "Goat"

yet another boring post for your (read my) bemusement.

i got myself opeth tickets for the 31st, and i'm going to be going with travis and one of naumy's friends that not travis nor i have ever met. it's at the fillmore (as is the shins), so that means 2 awesome posters.

i went to bookshop santa cruz the other day and found a book that i just could not pass up. it's a tribute to lovecraft and his works...featuring pieces by ALAN MOORE and WILLIAM BURROUGHS!!! i've never seen a very good tribute to lovecraft before, unless you count metallica songs. but the prospect of Moore and Burroughs taking a stab was too good to pass up. that and the cover is awesome looking.

speaking of lovecraft, there are rats in the walls (a title of his) here. dylan found 3 rat shits the other night...one in the kitchen and two on the stairs. and i've heard scratching in my wall. that fucking sucks. i'm not even sure how rat traps work. and if we catch one, i sure as fuck don't want to scoop up the carcass. nasty. makes me feel sick just thinking about it.

on a lighter note...my poetry class is quite rockin'. i've established myself as class clown already. people are chomping at the bit to hear my input... i never actually felt that i'd ever command such a captive audience. i'm talkative and outspoken, but not quite to the point where i'm annoying. everybody laughs and smiles. it's a good feeling. i feel like one of those 3 year old kids that does something so awful that the whole family laughs, so the kid just smiles and does it again and again until he runs it into the ground and people realize they should stop egging him on. hopefully it'll be a while before the stop egging me on.

i'm going to an afghani restaurant that a coworker of mine waitresses at. she convinced me to go with brianna because she's moving back to southern california in a week and tonight's her last night at the restaurant. hopefully it'll be nice and tasty...

now i have to go do a backlog of laundry.

i have an incredibly boring update lined up. only reason i'm doing it is because i don't really feel like showering just yet (which i should do considering how long it's been since i last did it).

i stayed at brianna's last night after working until 11 or so...
i rented Blazing Saddles for us to see, but we had to wake up so early so she could get to work that it just sat there, rotting. i will probably watch it this week on my own and laugh a lot...

i have to write a poem about a childhood kitchen tonight/tomorrow. i also have to read some David Hume. fun stuff.

when i got in the door this morning, i noticed that the front door didn't open all the way. the reason is that there was a doorstop in the way by the name of matt (mike's friend). good to see him, even though i woke him up by slamming a door against his head. i guess that's what you get for sleeping in the "living room".

i'd call my last few days a whirlwind, if there weren't so much dreadful waiting around interspersed.

school started...and i got an add code to the intro to acting class that i was planning on taking in place of japanese. i went to the class, and did not like the way it sounded one bit...but i needed the units, so i added it. i added it with the hope that i would be accepted into the Intermediate Poetry Writing class. there was an application process that involved submission of a portfolio. less than half would be admitted.

but first, phil and jodi came up on monday night. and it was a lot of fun. it was great to see them. we went out to a bar (them two, myself, brianna, travis, and paul met up with us later). and we drank ourselves silly. and then we came back here and smoked ourselves silly. good times. good times.

jodi and phil left at 11 at night last night...just in time for me to wait a couple hours and go in to work. that's right, i went to work at 1 IN THE FUCKING MORNING!!! 1 til 7. it was not fun. i haven't slept in 25 hours. and i'm so amped on caffeine i can't go to sleep just yet.

but here's the thing...if i didn't have an e-mail waiting for me from my poetry class saying i was in, i would've had to have had breakfast after work and then left to school pretty much right after, completely unprepared for an assignment i had.

instead, the reason i'm writing right now is because i got into the class. i feel like celebrating, but i'm tired.

so i bought brianna's 1 year anniversary gift. we will go see The Shins at the Fillmore on february 4th. just 11 days shy of our actual anniversary. she will flip when she sees the tickets. i can't wait to see how she reacts.

i'm in such a good mood, but i'm so goddamned tired!

going out to buy my books for school with travis and probably have lunch after.

i got out of bed really quickly to get dressed after i woke up...and my heel scraped up along a sharp edge on my bedframe. it tastes like burning.

my ucsc loans just dropped into my account...i can't express how tempted i am to just go hogwild on all that jive and just get me a tattoo or a scooter. i might, even.... i mean, i'm getting paid at least 200 bucks on friday for work. what's the big deal if i take a little advance on it? rent's not due for another 4 weeks.

i have to work tonight for 7 or 8 hours until close. it's so cold that i hope i'm offered a ride back home. the thought of walking in 30 degree weather for half an hour alone at around one in the morning does not appeal to me.

oh, and M83 is amazing!!!!!!!!!

Date:	2004-01-03 13:02
Subject:	exile on myrtle st.
Security:	Public
Mood:	blah
Music:	rolling stones-- 'exile on main street'

today is probably one of the bigger purgatorial days of this winter. christmas and new years has come and gone. and so that means, so have my family, my visiting friends, and brianna.

last night i got off of work early enough to get to sleep at a decent time, and i suppose i did, considering how late i could have slept. and i did sleep late, but i did not feel refreshed, and although i could have slept longer, i also decided that i would not be able to do anything with my day if i slept longer. but there isn't anything to do really with the time that i have except play tony hawk.

scratch that, i'm going to hang out with travis for a couple hours. but all of what i said still applies, damnit!

so in theory phil, dave, and jodi are coming on monday. in theory i will add intro to acting as one of my classes on monday. in theory i will have fun in class on monday. conventional wisdom says i will feel ridiculously sick to my stomach on monday (i always do on the first day of school...and i'm not even nervous anymore...it's like an instinct that has outlived its use [like adrenaline rushes] ).

brianna and i have decided that we're gonna start getting a little healthier by taking more walks. we also decided that we're gonna start playing a whole lot more air hockey, based on those walks, which will often gravitate towards the boardwalk.

so there's all that. and there isn't much more, i don't think.


mike and dylan are supposedly coming back today. i'm gonna tear them a new hole.


and, yeah... there's this. (i think it's funny that i'm so incredibly far removed from what i was raised as):

1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
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2. Liberal Quakers (85%)
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3. New Age (85%)
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4. Neo-Pagan (81%)
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5. Secular Humanism (81%)
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6. Mainline - Liberal Christian Protestants (78%)
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7. New Thought (69%)
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8. Theravada Buddhism (69%)
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9. Non-theist (67%)
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10. Mahayana Buddhism (62%)
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11. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (61%)
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12. Scientology (61%)
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13. Taoism (60%)
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14. Reform Judaism (57%)
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15. Orthodox Quaker (38%)
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16. Sikhism (30%)
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17. Mainline - Conservative Christian Protestant (25%)
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18. Bahá'í Faith (25%)
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19. Hinduism (17%)
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20. Orthodox Judaism (16%)
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21. Islam (14%)
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22. Jainism (14%)
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23. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (13%)
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24. Seventh Day Adventist (13%)
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25. Eastern Orthodox (3%)
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26. Jehovah's Witness (3%)
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27. Roman Catholic (3%)
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Date:	2003-12-30 03:48
Subject:	"black folks need to tell the truth about three things..."
Security:	Public
Mood:	thirsty
Music:	+/-

tonight, paul came over and we hung out and drank beer and watched barber shop and played tony hawk underground and the new tmnt game. the only good one of the bunch was tony hawk.

barbershop was a big disappointment...i heard it was good. it was not good. it's just that simple.

tomorrow will be a much needed day off of work. after that, chris is coming up with laura for new years and brianna will finally come back. i think not having her here is taking its toll on me. in fact, i think the fact that everyone is gone in santa cruz is taking its toll on me.

the past two nights i've come home from work exhausted, only to listen to music and eat fried chicken by myself and talk on my cell phone until it heats up and i get exhausted.

if only something could break the monotony.

on the plus side...i managed to get off the days that phil, dave, and jodi are supposedly coming up (january 5-7), so i only have school to worry about.


wow. an amazingly boring life leads to amazingly boring updates.

so christmas came and went...

and even for those not of the crucifix persuasion, it's a pretty big fucking day (not to mention entire season!)

i've been working quite a bit. brianna thinks all my managers and coworkers are involved in some sort of blockbuster cult. they do seem really nice, maybe a little too nice....

brianna got me an awesome lamp from children's ikea. it's a gigantic cartoony moon that hangs on the wall. it's going up, and it will be grand when it does.

my folks got me some sorely needed dvds: barton fink, miller's crossing, and the indiana jones trilogy.

i got enough money (that CAN'T be used on tattoos) to get the rest of the movies i need. there really aren't that many on the list anymore...


it was really nice seeing my parents and my sister, even if it was for only a couple days. now i'm looking forward to the new year and the crop of old friends it will bring up and into my freezing garage...i mean...practice room.....i mean....guest room. yeah. guest room.

so it's a quarter to 12. i don't work until 1 tomorrow. i have nothing to do. brianna has come and gone (she got here last night and left this morning....all too soon). and nobody, but nobody, is in santa cruz right now.

so i'm probably going to hit the video games like others hit the bottle, and wish for better days...

Date:	2003-12-22 11:31
Subject:	i think i'm turning korean?
Security:	Public
Mood:	confused
Music:	mission of burma/dianogah/judgment day/explosions in the sky

alright, so i just got woken up by an earthquake that happened way far away (near hearst castle). but apart from that i wasn't getting a very good sleep.

pass me the kimchi...it looks like i'm going to korea. my mom's friend is a mover and shaker in the education abroad realm of collegiate education, and since i'm interested in teaching and in eastern philosophy and culture, she spoke to the head of a program that works like this:

english-speaking university students live at Soonchunhyang University with Korean students wanting to learn english culture and language in something called the "English Village". you spend 15 hours a week teaching english language and culture. and for that, you can take a host of classes, tuition paid. your airfare is paid. your room is paid. and they give you 125 bucks a week as a stipend. and i'm pretty sure the dollar is worth a bit more over there.

so the opportunity sounds really cool. but of course, there are hesitations, and more importantly, there are impending regrets.

how can i leave brianna behind? how can i leave my family and friends across the ocean?

but realistically, this seems to be my only option... failing japanese kinda put me out of the running for the eastern philosophy grad schools i was gonna apply to. and most other grad programs already had their application date. so all that would be left for me is to live back home in l.a. and try to start substitute teaching with the CBEST under my belt AND take classes at pierce. no dice. no dice at all.

i'm curious to see what everyone thinks about all this. it would really help (even though i know only 3 people read my journal anymore).

Date:	2003-12-21 12:30
Subject:	so fucking tired
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired
Music:	Merzbow (and i'm not liking it so far)

i'm a sleepy one. i have yet to get out of my futon, which i refused to turn into a bed last night.

mike's friend from san francisco came down, and we drank and smoked and what-not and watched Upright Citizens Brigade on dvd. i forgot how funny that shit was.

so...there's good news and bad news on my front.

good news: i found my cell phone. i thought i'd lost it since i couldn't find it for nearly a week.

bad news: i FAILED my japanese 1 class. i know what you're all thinking, and i don't know how it could have happened either! it sucks completely. and it very much so changes the rest of my life. my gpa is shit now. i don't think i'm going to try to go to grad school for easter philosophy anymore (what's the point if you can't read the languages?). even if i wanted to retake japanese, the school doesn't offer japanese 1 until next fall (after i graduate). so now i'm lost, hopelessly lost.

i'll probably have to take next year off...


and on another note, if anybody knows what the deal is with travis, i'd sure like to find out. i tried calling yesterday, not knowing if he's in santa cruz or fresno...and the phone was busy all day (i guess it was off the hook). and he hasn't updated on live journal, either.

YOU ARE IVAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
every straight girl and gay guy (and probably
straight guys too) want to get all up on you.
HOTTT.


WHICH WALK CIRCLE HOUSEMATE ARE YOU!?!??!!?
brought to you by Quizilla


and here's a weird turn of events:

brianna is....


YOU ARE TRAVIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you play racquetball a lot. wtf is racquetball?
also, you're the oldest and wear awesome
t-shirts. you might be a secret goth, not sure
though.


WHICH WALK CIRCLE HOUSEMATE ARE YOU!?!??!!?
brought to you by Quizilla

Date:	2003-12-15 13:12
Subject:	coming out of semi-retirement to pitch for Houston...
Security:	Public
Mood:	nostalgic
Music:	ChameleonsUK- 'What Does Anything Mean? Basically.'

so the prodigal son returns. turns out the last time i updated this:
Ronald Reagan was in office.
The Go-Gos were 'tearing up the charts' with the latest new-wave dance craze.
The Soviet Union declared war on Afghanistan and its warlords.
Knight Rider and Miami Vice were the talk of the town.


i actually haven't updated this in a third of a year (august)!
and i see that everyone i've invited has been inactive at least that long except danny.

and i see that erin and travis have been their usual prolific selves.

i got new for all you (my friends), i'm not catching up on back-posts. that's just crazy talk!

so...what's new with me? today is brianna and my ten-month anniversary. but she won't be here. she's in san francisco, having a ball, no doubt. i took Japanese 1, and i wept. i took History of 19th Century Philosophy, and i wept. i took Philosophy in Literature, and i laughed! finals were done with as of this past thursday. i'm doing my 2nd interview for a blockbuster job today in an hour and a half. i'm staying up in santa cruz over break because i had to find a job up here. i have to learn the japanese alphabet of Katakana over break if i want in to japanese 2. my folks are coming up christmas along with sarah to visit me. i miss to fuck not seeing my family and friends that i don't usually see.

that means that chris and phil and danny and david better fucking come up for new years. i'll even throw a party, yes, a party! that's IF they come up. (just try and call my bluff, guys).

in other news, utah and denver are playing like bats out of hell and i totally didn't call that. memphis is coming up and golden state is short-handed but still yet making a go of it...and that was predictable, but pleasant.

and i'm spent...

Date:	2003-08-18 18:24
Subject:	riga-who? riga-deau.
Security:	Public
Mood:	cheerful

the warriors traded away their franchise player.

who did they get in return?

popeye jones, the ugliest man in basketball.
and nick "the quick" van exel.


all i gotta say is... BRING BACK THE BEARD, BABY!!!

Date:	2003-08-17 02:36
Subject:	The Saw is Family
Security:	Public
Mood:	blah
Music:	REM-- 'New Adventures in Hi-Fi'

nothing much new to report.

just felt like updating.

watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 earlier. it was pretty good.

tomorrow i have off, so i'm gonna finish buying brianna her gifts. she's in vegas right now. it's her birthday now, as of 2 hours and thirty seven minutes ago.

wish i could call her to wish her a happy one.